RP2S: An Unhinged, Unprecedented, Unlawful, But Totally Warranted Review

Another deserving candidate is vying for Thor's Hammer of Best Affordable Low-End to Mid-range Chinese Handheld EmulatorTM while you guys are frantically clutching your big, 4-screened Anbernic donkeys. This time, let's give the new (though not brand-new) and enhanced (yeah, extremely) RP2S a warm welcome!

Come on over, have a seat on Papa Joe's knee, and allow me to share with you the terrifying Wild West of low-cost Chinese plastic rom emulators. The Retro Game Corps was too busy being a genuine war hero to the American military to inform us about the RK2020's terrible button quality back when Anbernic still had a soft spot for Taki Udon. Before bots and other legally dubious practices eventually defeated it, the Facebook group Retro Handheld Paradise was known as the "most popular retro emulation."

One day, a new kid emerged from the woods and entirely stole the Powkiddy a19's design, making it far better. They called it the Retroid Pocket. It also sucked, complete with an incredibly antiquated version of Android and the worst front end I will not mention for fear that it will return to haunt me in my sleep and kill me. (Remember, this is still better than the Powkiddy, anything before 2023.)

Everyone, liked by everyone, reviewed it and then dropped by everyone. Damn it to the bottom. Good. Well done, everyone. Well, hmm.

Then, one day, something fascinating was revealed: the Retroid Pocket *2*, a dumb yellow Gameboy Advance POS that looked like Stan Smith's chin. We should be on topic by now, but we're not. Apologies. Wasn't that three years ago? Aww.

Retroid Pocket 2, In all its yellow glory (2020)

I was instantly enamored. It featured two speakers, stacked shoulder buttons, an analog stick, a headphone jack, and a yellow color. It was landscape and ran a ton of video games. In addition, there was a shabby 3D slider, no touch screen, and shoddy buttons, which was just mediocre. Not only did I purchase it, but I also messaged Retroid directly and paid an additional $20 to speed up the process since I was foolish, young, and naïve. Who cares, though? The RP2 (in my opinion) introduced the complete hardware setup that looked attractive and helped build a core fan base of affluent adults who wanted to satisfy their nostalgia. Naturally, this resulted in the notoriously cursed RP2 community group, which was the host of everything from "Shipping yet?" to Morrowind tutorials, to arguments about N64 emulation (which is still my worst nightmare), to arguments about d-pad bindings that resulted in hateful, one-sided messages from men who smoke joints.

Since it changed its name to Retro Handhelds (this very community!), that group is no longer in existence.

I'm a simp. Almost every fart that Retroid let out was wafted at me, and I relished it like a primitive troglodyte. The market never stagnates and is constantly being driven forward by the designs and build quality. For better or worse, you usually know precisely what to anticipate when Anbernic introduces a handheld. We all chuckle as Powkiddy introduces another subpar portable device created by Chat GPT, to have it enhanced with clones (though lately, Powkiddy W's have been quite popular). We look, we point, we unlock our wallets, we gripe about the delivery delay, and we wonder what Retroid will do next when they release a portable. At least I do.

RP2+? I returned it the same day after owning it and detesting the buttons. RP3? sold it after owning and loving it. RP3+? owned it, sold it, and liked it. Flip RP? I skipped it. Am I the one? Most likely. But something always seemed to be holding me back; perhaps it's simply my *sips tea* always raising expectations for quality. Retroid is cool, but I'm getting pickier. To go along with my chunky Steam Deck, I need a semi-competent, pocketable, comfortable-to-touch and sniff, and 2D gaming device. It's something with at least one analog stick, stereo audio, Android (I won't argue about this, but feel free to give me a hate remark), and enough power to run games with enough flexibility to employ latency reduction and filters.

Although I'm still in the honeymoon phase, this console is the breeziest of the neediest, in case you didn't get the idea earlier. Since that's all I need, I spent a total of $130 to acquire the minimal minimum experience with a grip. My financial counselor assured me that this handheld won't make or break my finances, so my engagement is secure (for the time being). I have a 256 GB black SD card and a 3 GB by 64 GB setup. I wanted to accurately portray to prospective viewers what their $100 purchase would buy them. But really? I ordered that after emailing Retroid to find out which ones they had in stock and ready to ship.

This is actually where the review begins, so congrats if you've read this far. The good news is that 60% of it has already been written with all of this background. Although it isn't, this console is a reworking of what they already did in 2020 with some upgrades. The latest Retroid buttons, analog sticks, and analog triggers are essentially what you're getting here, along with a better screen, enough processing power to run mid- to low-range games on the GameCube and PS2, plenty of headroom for 2D (filters and hard GPU syncs maybe), and a big fat kiss from the devoted person who packaged it.

The analog sticks, L & R triggers, and ABXY buttons were all flawless.

I was initially under the impression that the ABXY used the same rubber membranes and buttons as the RP2 Plus, which were extremely stiff, but I was utterly mistaken. These buttons have actuation forces that are roughly half that of the RP2 Plus and on par with those of Anbernic. They are noisy, similar to an Xbox One controller, which is a little drawback. They are enjoyable to use if you don't mind the noise. Regretfully, my fiancée dislikes the noise.

Since we know that the L&R triggers performed well on the RP Flip, it's excellent that they aren't very noteworthy in this instance. I've disassembled Retroid devices in the past, and I've found that they carefully and paddedly assemble their shoulder buttons to ensure that they won't break over time and that the click is nice.

Since these are very new to these handhelds and this is the first application, the real fun starts with the analog sticks. There is no doubt that they are *slurps tea* e x q u i s i t e. A clear improvement over the Nintendo Switch design with the bumper around the sticks, the concave design is a fantastic match for the Steam Decks. Without wearing down the stem, it makes turning in circles a really smooth experience. Sticks are the ideal size for this gadget and are remarkably well-positioned for a pocketable, handheld instrument of this size.

Right now. Let's talk about our favorite topic. The one that everyone has been anticipating. What Daddy Stubbs had been eagerly anticipating seeing firsthand. The buttons for Start and Select. Yes, they are awful. It's terrible that they're rigid. 5 out of 10. All you need to do is map them to the buttons beneath the screen. That's all. Let's go on.

It's a good screen. I won't waste your valuable time reading your poor handheld review. The touch screen, which is 3.5′′ and 480p, works well. Now that Anbernic collectively raised our standard with a 4-inch, it seems that's too tiny. Remind players that what matters most is how well it feels to turn it on and play, with deep blacks and just enough color accuracy to be above average. Although 480p and integer scaling are terrible, the additional power, in this case, enables bilinear filtering and a 4x filter. Thank you, Russ. Until Mega Man's health bar has almost flawless pixels, my gamer brain won't be content (I really use Mother 3 for scaling tests, lol). Since the bezel is incorporated into the handheld's design rather than being tossed out there like some D-007 fluffernutter, I actually don't mind it. Once more, I'm okay because I purchased the black one.

The D-pad is the device's most crucial component. Due to its positioning on the face, the D-pad is emphasized more than the analog stick. It's all right. They've been using the same dome style since the RP3, and I don't mind because I value actuation force more than that, which these domes need very little of.

Finally, let me offer you a bonus for Christmas early to all the fine lads and girls of Retro Handheld, a blessing from ye olde SantaJoe. Let's discuss the official Retroid grip. Every moment I put that sucker on, it hasn't left my handheld. The material has a smooth, robust, flexible, and forgiving feel that makes it ideal for reaching the d-pad or analog stick with the palm. In contrast to the grips you'd get on Etsy, it also has a relatively decent screen/body ratio.

Retroid's quality control and efforts to ensure that its handhelds are robust and not destined to malfunction in certain areas *cough* KTR1 never cease to amaze me. Though durable enough, the build quality is somewhat toy-like. These are toys, let's face it, and no 300g aluminum brick with shoddy wifi will make that any different. (In addition, Retroid's QA team used their first metal handheld to ensure that the wifi functioned correctly right away.) In this case, the RP2S shares the majority of the RP2's screw and plastic quality. It's reliable enough that you can take it to the park without fear of youngsters making fun of you or throwing stale bread at you.

I now have adult duties and stress since I am an adult guy. A great deal of stress. And anxiety. And you know that these handhelds are the primary source of my aggravation at the moment. I slept. Did I get bored? No, you trog, I wasn't bored. I experienced what some called relief for the first time after purchasing subpar Chinese handhelds for around two years. I was having fun, unwinding, and feeling that, for once, I had made a worthwhile buy. I relaxed and dozed off. for nine hours. I actually fell asleep. I dozed off on the bed. I slept on the bed. It was pleasant.

This is quite self-indulgent and non-objective if you notice it at this stage of the evaluation. Instead of using a one-size-fits-all approach, I want to share my feelings honestly and unvarnished. Did I enjoy the much-discussed and wildly popular 405M? Sort of. Have I kept it? No. Those L&R buttons made me feel a mix of sadness and anger, like John Wick, but with 0000002% of the wrath. Metal devices are awful. You understand. Consider this review as a faux retrospective, Retroid corporate evaluation, or therapy session with Joe because it was lengthy and provided far more than the handheld alone merited. However, context is essential in this case because Retroid is always coming up with new methods to improve its consoles, and this one is a decent step. It's not flawless, but it hits a lot of good pressure spots.